~~~ 有着爱的婚礼，就是完美的婚礼。 ~~~

woke up at 9am this morning, suppose to have project meeting at 10am. tot i will be late. but guess wat, i reached sch at exactly 10am (w/o taking a cab) and i was the 2nd to arrive. which means there r another 2 who r yet to arrive.


but since today will be the last meeting of the yr, i wun 计较 with them.


was at bugis ytd, there was this lady who made a very loud irritated sound when she was blocked by me. well, the place's damn crowded lo and i m already tryin hard to siam her already. anyway, i wanted to scold her and complain to my best fren abt her. but in the end, i opened my mouth, said a few words and decided not to. haiz, no point rite. hahahahaha, wat's wrong with me??? think the devil side of me is complaining already.

juz wanna highlight this testimonial written by one of my NIE buddies. i have highlighted the important points out.


Friday, August 26, 2005:

=) this is my fellow pretty miss lim!
*grins*haha well.. despite the fact that i thought she was pretty 'ah-lian' when i first saw her in school, she is actually a quiet and sweet-lookin' lady..although she doesn't speak much, but be sure that she's always listening to you! cos' you'll see her laughing or nodding away as an acknowledgement.. hehe..BUT, when she starts to speak, make sure you pay attention to her, not only becos' it's rare.. lols, you'll be shocked by how hilarious or comical she can be, especially when she's angry or frustrated.. haha! her expressions.. totally adorable!



muz be wondering wat's the pt of this entry rite? juz wanna prove tat i m a person of little words. i only tok alot when i m drinking (but most of the stuff i say are nonsensical stuff) , or when i m complaining abt something ( which means my language will contain alot of vuglarity) , or maybe when i m tokin abt the guy i like (which means i will only tok abt him to my best fren or NIE buddies).


other den tat, i dun really tok much rite? think i will only tok alot to my best fren, my mum and my sis, and of coz my bf if i have one.


i m really not dao or trying to act cool, i m actually tryin very hard inside my mind to strike a conversation. but each time i wan to open my mouth to speak, nothing comes out. i've been trying, really. so if i dun tok to u, tat doesn't mean i m unfriendly ok. i m really not tryin to be unfriendly or does not treat u as a fren. it's really juz me.


but will try to change tis bad habit k............


oh ya, and one of the reasons why i dun tok much, it's because i m spending my time listening.

i m in sch now to hand in my "yuwen" project, i spent the whole nite ( morning ba ) rushing it. i guess the result's quite bad, but no choice, last min work is like tat. but i m glad the burden's off my shoulder now. can relax and have fun for my remaining holidays.


but too bad, miss the match ytd. cannot c my 3rd bf play............ haiz......... miss him wor


one more day to pay day!!!!!!!! can wait to go shopping....... wait!!!!!!!! before u all start nagging, i wun be buying things for myself la. will juz be getint the belated christmas gifts, pay off my bills, debts etc. wah............. i will be a poor girl after tat. sob sob, but it's ok, coz sch's startin soon. which means i wun get to go out as often, can spend less. will go Chinese New Year shopping with mum next thurs, i cant wait!

Guy Sebastian
Angels Brought Me Here

its been a long & winding journy
but im finally here 2nite
picking up the pieces & walking
back into the light
into the sunset of the glory
where my heart & future lies


theres nothing like that feeling
when i look into ure eyez
my dreams came true
when i found u, i found u, my miracle


if u could see wat i see
that ur e the answer 2 my prayers
if u could feel the tenderness i feel
u would know it would be clear
standing here b4 u
feels like ive been born again


every breath is ur luv
every heart beat beats ur name
my dreams came true
right here infront of u my miracle


brought me here 2 be with u
i'll be forever greatful
forever faithful


my dreams came true
when i found u my miracle
if u could see wat i see ur e the answer 2 my prayers
& if u could feel the tenderness i feel
u would know it would be clear
that ANGELS BROUGHT ME HERE



i love this song, and hope u will like it too

the tweety very cute rite??????? like asking u to bring it home....... it really brighten up my day.

haiz, someone is teaching my baby how to smoke....... so bad........

girl, i m giving u till the end of 28th to be upset. after midnite, u have to forget all unhappiness and get down to serious business k?


i hate u for making me feel this way, but i hate myself even more for making u make me feel this way. i dun need u to pity me, n i dun wan ur sympathy.



不应该怪你的，是我不对在先。是我自己笨，自己傻。好讨厌这种感觉，好讨厌，好讨厌。我以为不会再有这样的感觉了，没有人可以让我再掉一滴泪。

tell me, how can things get any worse? i woke up extra early tis morning, squeeze the last cent i could find and went NTUC to buy the ingredients i need.

came home and started to bake my cookies. juz as my dough was ready to be shape, my OVEN died on me!!!!!!! what the hell............... i tried to switch it on over and over again like 10 times. have to walk to my living room to on the power supply, to and fro.............. why?????????


no cookies......... have to throw my dough away. nvm, starts to clean up all the mess............ and guess wat? i broke the mixer bowl.


i wonder wat will happen next????????


i never forget abt the tofu, but due to certain circumstances, i m unable to buy it.

Bring Me To Life


How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb without a soul
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home


Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become


Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become
Bring me to life


Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love - darling - only you
Are the life among the dead


All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

famous Tau Sar Piah from Balestier.............. very nice wor.



it's been raining since afternoon. usually, i like the idea of raining............. but this downpour makes me feel extremely depress. i hate it.






如果你还爱着他，那么就勇敢地去找寻你所要得答案。

New Year dinner wishlist:


1) anywhere with u


New Year Resolution


1) be a better person
2) go MOS at least once
3) chiong n drink less
4) learn to control my temper
5) be nice to everyone
6) go quene for Lin Chi Yuan Bak Kua
7) get my navel pierced





Daniel Bedingfield "If You're Not The One" (touching song)



If you're not the one
Then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one
Then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine
Then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine
Would I have the strength to stand at all


I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away
But I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?


If I don't need you
Then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you
Then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me
Then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me
Then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one
I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understand
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?


Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart
And pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don't want to run away but I can't take itI don't understand
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

Heaven Knows by Rick Price


She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til
I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger, every day
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do start'
Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go


CHORUS
Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go


CHORUS
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so
Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

went to slp at 3 plus 4 ytd, couldn't slp after staying up to watch the Liverpool match. too many things on my mind i guess.


woke up at 5.30am!!!!!!!!!!! stomach ache!!!!!!!!!! diahorrea!!!!!!!!!!!!! din wan to go sch, but i have no choice. i even alighted at clementi mrt station to find a toilet to shit. argh!!!! i hope the chinese medicine works, coz this girl here cant even afford to go c doctor.


will blog later, have to go find my grp members.


managed to drag myself home w/o shitting on my pants............... dun tink it's food poisoning ba. shld be too heaty le, coz i ate almost half a box of Rocher ytd. after all my entries abt wanting to lose wt.............. wahahahha, how ironic................ i dun wan mum to eat them so i muz finish them all fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


will flood myself with the chinese medicine later if the diahorrea still persist...............

Harry Kewell (7) n Xabi Alonso(14) ...................... 好帅。

爱， 是否真能在刹那间说不见就不见？

this is my christmas present......... Britney Spears Curious. nice hor? well, it isn't the version with the pump, but i still like it alot.

4 more days to pay day........... yeah! and since i spent my last note today, i will have to endure abit for the next 4 days to come.


went California Fitness at Bugis for the 2 wks free trial today. nthin much to comment coz i wasn't paying any attention to the person who was explaining abt the programmes and machines. my mind was in a daze and couldn't concentrate for the whole day. guess i m tired.


i tot it was dead, i din realise it's actually pretty much still alive. i can feel it beating, i can feel it inside me. i m back, tat silly little girl...........
i m happy tat there's still someone existing in this part of the world, who possesses the ability to make me do things like tat again.


i m always complaining tat u r not doin enuff, but i din realise it's actually me who isn't doing anything. it's me who never bother to slow down my own footsteps to do some self-reflection.

is it the pms? or is it the alcohol? or is it me? or is it really u? i dunno................. i really dunno. i m tired for all that i m sure of.

i m sorry if it's me who caused u so much grief, i m sorry if it's me who causes all the misunderstanding abt u. i m sorry i doubted u.

~~~ it's not u who's aint gd enuff, it's me who's asking too much. ~~~


i had Japanese, Chinese and Western crusine today........... sounds wonderful rite??? well, i had sakae sushi, Fei Chui Xiao Long Bao and Carl's Jr............... wah!!!!!!!!!!! damn fattening and sinful lo...........

MERRY CHRISTMAS to my beloved family, to my best fren Yingwen, to my sec sch pals Huiyin, Huimin, May, Peipei, Fika, to my NIE buddies Yun, Wen, Lynn and Sebas, to my best clubbing buddy, Vicky, to "tat somebody" and his frens. hmmmm, to my god sis Christina, to Joseph, Numan, Des, Jason, Ben.............. and to all my frens...........


ENJOY THIS SEASON OF JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my friday nite's fun. had an early christmas dinner with my family and den went tiong bahru to meet up with my best fren. for once, she's wearing a dress and i m in jeans. but of coz, we were both dressed up for a nite of fun.


we headed to clark quay and decided to enter One Nite Stand coz it's free entry. but the place's nice. nice live band, nice music, nice atmosphere, nice n helpful waiters. well, i like the place. it's been a long time since i danced so much. saw this cute guy there and he really look like "tat somebody". thought probably they r related in any ways.


anyway, it's Christmas Eve....................... Ho, ho, ho.......love u guys..............

hahaha, saw this cute guy on the train juz now. i caught him lookin at me or issit me who's lookin at him???or maybe he's lookin at someone who's behind me?? anyway, seriously i think he's lookin at me lo. but nothin happens.............. wonder if i will give him my number if he asks for it.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY　TO LYNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wahahahaha, one more member in the 20s family

christmas dinner wishlist:


1) Xiao Long Tang Bao (i will never get tired of them)
2) Sakae Sushi or Sushi Teh
3) Seoul Garden
3) Carl's Jr
4) nice 煮炒
5) dun mind KFC (coz i dun remember when's the last time i ate them)

我相信许多人都会像我一样，希望能够有个童话故事般的爱情。 总有一天，白马王子会从巫婆手中把我救走。从此以后就快快乐乐地生活在一起。


但现实和故事永远都是相反的。故事里的公主和王子不需要工作，也不需要赚钱。


i used to be the kind of person tat thinks tat love can conquer all and all other things dun matter. but growing up makes me realise tat the society doesn't allows u to be someone like tat. call me realistic or materialistic. i juz wan my life to be a better one, dun tink i m asking too much.


and before u guys start complaining abt us Sg girls being too realistic and have too high an expectation. why dun u reflect upon urself first, r we really asking for too much? or maybe it's u who is not gd enuff for us.

i love King Kong! nice show and definately value for money. it's a 3 hr movie..... can c dinosaurs, extra large insects and of coz King Kong. the show's even touchin enuff to make me drop tears.


Christmas Wishlist:
1) someone whom i love (he muz also love me too)
2) topshop/MNG gift vouchers
3) nice girly soft toys
4) Harry Potter Part 5 n 6
5) nice girly sliver necklace/bracelet...
6) nice n interesting Xbox game
7) nice box of chocolate

went to sch for my gp project meeting this morning, nothing much was done. will be meeting them again this friday. after tat i went bugis to meet "somebody" for lunch at some coffeeshop there. had Bak Kut Teh without rice, actually never eat much of the meat (the Bak Kut too big, very diff to eat.) had some salted vege, a few pieces of the pig intestine and thanks to "somebody", i only had one tiny piece of you tiao coz he ate them all.

after lunch, we went Library to do research for my 语文 project, guess my sch's library still the best. den we took 197 to parkway parade, well the place's still the same as one yr ago when i last went there. kenna cheated by him.

after awhile of window shopping, we got tired of the place and decided to go Geylang for yu tiao da wang!!!!! the yu tiao very nice lo, much bigger den the usual ones that's selling at markets. i like.


suddenly have cravings for Carls Jr lo, the burgers there very big lo. "She will tell u size doesn't matter. she's lying." hahaha, tat's one of their slogan. went Marina Sq's Carl Jr once, hmmmm i like their burgers. but cannot la, been eating alot of fattening food tis wk. muz stop eating them already lo, coz christmas' coming and muz wear nice nice one.

有些东西错过了，就永远不能回头了。

had a very bad dream ytd. dun wanna tok abt it.


2005 is coming to an end in 2 wks time..... yeah!!!


anyway, Happy Birthday to Des.

if u tink u r right, den dun bother abt wat the others are saying. it's difficult to please everyone, wat's impt is to please urself. rite?? or m i wrong??? we shld place other's happiness in front of our own?


guess i m selfish. guess i was never right. guess i have been on the wrong path all along. guess i haven't been realising my mistakes. guess i have been committing the same mistake over n over again. guess i never learn. guess i was never awaken from my dreams.


i have forgotten how to love myself???? maybe it's because i love myself too much tat's why i keep hurting those tat care for me.

there's lot of stuff on my mind, things regarding tat somebody, 回忆城, and blah blah blah....... but juz dun feel like blogging abt them. probably the heart's the best place to hide ur feelings and problems.


saw lynn at bugis junction taxi stand today. but she din see me coz i was on the bus tat was passing by. dun be too shock to hear that i was with Sebas, coz i met him to go National Library find more info for our 语文 project. haven't touch on my project, jialat rite???? haiz.........


tml will be a better day i hope....

wat would u do if ur gf realise she's pregnant with her ex bf's child???? do u love her enuff to go thru everything with her????


pls dun be mistaken, i m not pregnant. juz a thought that was brought to my mind today. 这世界上真的会有至死不欲的爱情吗？我不知道。


kinda disappointed when u told me that u wont be stayin up to wait for me to return home. on 2nd thought, u r tired from a day's of work n need to wake up early tml. so wat if i never msg u when i reach home, u wun noe it until the next day. if anything were to happen to me, won't it be too late? dun bother abt me, juz my usual mood swing.


i m tired of my usual fri's drinking night. i m tired of drinking and den feeling depress.....

Which Housewife Are You?


i took the quiz and i m Grabrielle of The Desperate Housewives.


Grabielle
You could say tat life's juz about pretty dresses and expensive gifts to you. but you're looking for something more. You'll find it someday as long as you can stay out of trouble.

i was abt to type tis entry when i realised there's toothpaste on my fingers. hehehe, never washed off properly.


anyway, i guess today will be the best day to go Dbl O. coz it's the opening of MOS (Ministry of Sound) tonite and i tink there's some event at Zouk as well. which is why Dbl O will not be as crowded as the usual wkends (juz my own prediction) . but of coz, i wun be clubbing tonite. will be meeting tat somebody for dinner *grin*. maybe i will reconsider going after dinner if they send me the free entry sms, den take nite rider home. juz jokin la....... will be stayin home tonite.


next wk program.......
Mon : go Jurong East Library
Tues to Thurs: try to start on my project
Fri: meet my best fren for Christmas dinner and Blogger's Party (m i rite???)
Sat: Christmas Eve (meeting tat somebody.... but dunno wat's the plan yet)
Sun: Christmas Day (staying home for Christmas Dinner with family)



yeah, my whole of next wk packed with activities again......

Love me by Colin Raye


I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me.
he said,"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so.


"We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said:
If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.


I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.
I know i'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.


If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
Between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.



very very sweet song..........

u should see the smile u brought to my face each time i receive a msg from you.

== 一个人生活 ==


叶子在窗外轻轻摇动
人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我
自从你离开了我变得很软弱
你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我
少了你的陪伴
我现在有多寂寞


我想我可以习惯一个人生活
我想我可以假装不曾爱过
冰凉的夜里让眼泪温热我
感觉如果要走谁能说 no


我想我可以习惯一个人生活
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱情怎么会是这个结果
爱情是个梦而我睡过头

如果让我遇上对的人，我可以对他很好，我可以为他负出一切。但如果你不是，那就对不起了。


the weather's quite good today and i m torn between going for a swim or jog. think i will go jog later at 4pm.....can feel all my lost weight coming back....

was watching some variety show the other day, they were interviewing girls tat had lost a lot of weight.... 10 or more kg. hahahaha, i was thinking to myself. actually i do qualify for such interviews too, i lost more than 15 kg already wor. not bad hor......


anyway, seriously i dun understand why ppl love Jb's petrol and cigarettes so much. first of all, i muz state tat i have nothing against Malaysia ok. well, i noe petrol and cigarette are much cheaper over there. but i tot we aint suppose to go there top up petrol??? forget abt the petrol thing ba, coz i dun drive.... so i dunno the burden of having to support a car. back to the cigarette part, why muz go malaysia buy cheaper cigarettes??? if u cant afford to smoke or think tat cigarettes are too pricey in SG, den dun smoke la. smoking shortens ur life, makes ur teeth turn yellowish, even fingernails also will turn yellowishn will have bad breath somemore. i have nothin against ppl tat smoke one hor, 抽烟不代表你就是坏人，好人不一定不抽烟。 hahahaha, wat m i toking abt??? anyway, tat's beside the point. juz feel tat if u cant afford to smoke or too stingy to smoke pricey cigarettes, den DUN SMOKE.

u all may be tinking, u dun understand how difficult it is to quit smoking. well i m glad i cant understand the pain of having to quit smoking and i m glad tat i was never addicted to it.

damn, i had 2 ang ku kueh, 2 curry puffs and some fish today.......... super fattening and sinful lo. OMG, why did i eat so much??? definately will gain wt tml. super depressed now, coz i ate too much..........


something's missing in my life and i have no idea wat it is.

finally get to c the girls after holis started...... met them at Plaza Singapure for lunch ytd and den went to Far East Plaza for a hair cut. well, mine wasn't tat obvious coz i only had my fringe cut. i left to meet somebody before yun finish cutting her hair. quite curious to c how her hair looks like now. tink shld be ok la, dun feel too bad k..... anyway, thanks for the company.

went all the way to People's Park Complex to get cheap pads juz now, hahahahaha. dun ask me why i did tat, probably tryin to save money or maybe too free ba. after tat, i went Far East to meet my god sister for a late lunch. bought a demin skirt for $20/-, went to a few shops and tat's the cheapest.

after the payment for this mth's insurance, i have an annoucement to make. i m offically broke. hahahaha, the only money i have left is in my Ez link card. sorry Lee, i cant meet u for lunchs and dinners le. coz have to use my ez link card wisely, juz in case i need to go back sch for project meetings. have to wait till ur pay day to savage my month.

for those who's laughing at my pathetic plight, well...... go ahead. coz i dun care....... i am happy with stayin home, happy with having bread n biscuits for my meals until my pay day comes.
guess i will go to my cousin's ROM ceremony tml, can go for free dinner after tat. will be staying home on thurs and fri....... sat will be National Library day. Sun i will be going out with my family to celebrate my sis's belated birthday......... yeah, my week's full of activities even though i m broke.

女人永远都不会向男人坦白，也不会向自己坦白。


quote from "Date with a vampire 3".

Rumors by Lindsay Lohan (she's a babe)


Why can't you just let me do
The things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand
Why would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life (but not the way you want me to)


I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

<<爱>> by 谢霆峰 and 蔡卓妍


跌跌撞撞迷迷糊糊
生死轮回命运碰触
纷扰之中我似乎听见你的苦
哭着说苦你的无助
冥冥之中心痛着紧抱住你
跋山涉水为谁停
天知道你对我有多么重要
天知道我动了真情
爱就算要冒险
爱无所谓时间
护你到永远
爱坚定了信念
爱无所谓天边合
我在这不会变


爱给我们阳光
爱带我们飞翔
抬头看蓝蓝的天空
我不在乎你变什么
我要成为你黑暗里那道光
要带着你远离沙漠的孤单

went cycling at East Coast Park ytd, this is what i call healthy living. it's been quite awhile since i last cycled, cycled for 1 1/2 hrs ytd...... super tiring, tink i m lousy ba. seriously, i prefer to swim. but once in awhile go cycle also not bad, can enjoy the "nice scenary".

my cousin will be getting married in 3 days time. never really like him, mum say i bear grudges. yes, i do. i m petty and unreasonable. but it's not like i wish for them to get divorce soon rite.

it's not like i wish for anyone to die or wat rite? ok.... i admit, i do tink of mean things when i c kids ard. ok ok, i admit i say mean things abt those ppl i dun like. ok la, i admit i m mean la. i m not a saint ma, ppl have flaws rite? i have my flaws too. ok, i never bother to do anything abt my flaws. well, tat's one of my flaws too lo. ok, knowing them and not doin anything abt it is bad.

this is my blog, i m write anything (almost anything la) i want. if u aren't happy reading them, u can juz click the "close window" button.

if i say i wasn't affected by this whole issue, i m lying. if i say i m right throughout tis whole issue, i m lying as well. i dun wan to explain myself anymore, for those who noe me.... well, i dun tink there's a need for me to say anything. for those who dun, u can go ahead and think watever u want. coz no matter how i explain, u will not believe a single word, so wat's the point? i got wat i deserve to a certain extent.

he's not wat he seems to be, and i m not wat i seems to be. simple as tat.

== end of chapter ==


你还是想着她的，你也还是爱着她的。如果是这样，就请不要假装伟大。

yes......... i cried, i scream, i shouted, i got slightly drunk. but i felt super silly after tat, knew i made a fool out of myself. i do not wish for anyone to pity me, u all can continue to tink tat i m a bitch or watever. i knew i made a mistake, i knew tat i m wrong. but i really dunno how to make amendments.


我已忘了自己是谁了。

woke up with a terrible stomachache at 6plus am tis morning. shitted abt 5-6 times till 9plus am..... msged my classmate to inform them i wun be meeting them for the project meeting. dun tink i can go out lo, need the toilet like at least every half hour.... they never even bother to reply lo..... they muz be tinking tat's some crappy excuse i came up with............ well, i dun care if they belief me or not.

went Marche for dinner juz now, cant believe the bill for the 2 persons is like only $12.90/-. guess the main reason is becoz i only had one bread n a soup. the soup is like $3.90 and the bread is $1.20 i tink. my stomach still isn't in the best condition to eat Marche's food. the steak and stuff..... wah, all so oily n fattening.

== let me die ==


are we at war tonight
will there be angels whispering to me goodnight
don't wake when the lightning strikes
my heart for you is true
let no one take that from you
time is running tight
can't change from wrong to right
so i'll close my eyes and dream a little
just like how we used to be baby
it's time to say fare-well
no need to cry or feeling sorrow
it's alright , all in the book of life
heaven grant me one last wish i beg you
let me say these words before i go
i will love you till the end of time
with every breath of mine, i'll
hold you by my side
but i'll rest in peace, my sweet heart would you
let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can change my world from black to white
so i'll close my eyes and dream more


are we at war tonight
will there be angels whispering to me goodnight
don't wake when the lightning strikes
heaven grant me one last wish i beg you
let me say these words before i go
i will love you till the end of time

with every breath of mine, i'll
hold you by my side
but i'll rest in peace, my sweet heart would you
let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can give me strength to fight
till the sky is burning , it's the end of time
look ahead tomorrow, a long and winding road
keep the faith of mine don't let it go
you're the only reason night ain't growing cold
what will i do , without you
i will love you till the end of time
with every breath of mine,i'll
hold you by my side
but i'll rest in peace.
my sweet heart would you
let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can make my world so bright,
life, no longer empty,
with you in my heart , in my heart

=== 我认识的人越多，我越喜欢狗。 ===


quote from some unknown model from Taiwan. i love it.


juz shit once tis morning, tink i m going to go shit again............. guess i m full of shit....... ( ok, i noe.... pretty lame )

cant believe i had a full McNuggets Meal at 11.45pm after all my entries abt wanting to lose weight. the temptation was too great for me to resist. tink i'll have to wait till at least 3am den i can go to bed, muz give my stomach some time to digest the nuggets.

will be going out with mum tml, going Causeway point to do some shopping. will meet Dad up after he finish work n den head to Paragon's Ding Tai Fung for dinner. yeah, can have Xiao Long Bao, my fav....haiz, which also means i will gain wt again......... argh....... nvm, will go jog tml morning.

went swimming on monday, din jog today coz i m still having diahorrea, think i shit at least 5 times today. hope my diahorrea will be ok by tml, i wan to go jog! someone once told me diahorrea can help to lose weight, but after shitting for 2 days.... my weight still the same leh.

oh ya, one more new yr's resolution...... i wan to pierce navel ring, not too old for tat ba???? i dun care......too bad i m a future chinese teacher, if not i will want to get a tattoo done as well. teachers cannot have tattoo meh??? can be GTO ma, i can be GTS, Great Teacher Serene. heheheheheee....

went sch at 9am to do my gp project, couldn't finish it as one of our member's absent and her part of the project was not done yet.

1st holis meeting : late for 2 hr plus, no one at hm to take care of her daughter
2nd holis meeting : late, daughter sick i tink
3rd holis meeting : juz a bit late, daughter sick the previous nite
4th holis meeting : absent, daughter's sick.

for those who noe me, well i m not a very sympathetic person............ so to me, all these are merely excuses, not reasons............ maybe i m still single and childless ba, so fail to understand her problems..... but still............. argh, dun wan to tok abt it.

still having diahorrea, but wasn't as bad as ytd.



=== 人是否都是自私的？ ===


maybe i m wrong tis time, terribly wrong. but i really never want things to turn out tis way.........

having diahorrea again, tink i shit at least 6 times since 9pm......... the med i ate aint workin very well, still feel like wanting to shit. craving for porridge nw, something hot to warm my stomach.

I got a
Heart full of pain
Head full of stress
Handful of anger
Held in my chest
Uphill struggle
Blood, sweat and tears
Nothing to gain
Everything to fear

christmas will be here in 20 days. wun have $ to buy christmas presents.... sorry......... have to wait till jan for the belated gifts k? pls dun ask me why i m broke so fast.

wonder how i m going to spend my christmas tis yr, will it be with someone special or juz dinner at home? how come pay day cannot come on the 25th??? always broke on christmas one.... sian......

hmmm, wat will be my new yr resolution tis yr?????

1) lose more weight of coz........
2) save money for the taiwan trip with my best fren..... (hmmm, dun tink i can go on may, june holis..... coz dun have allowance for tat 2 mths).
3) spend more time with my best fren,
4) go have lunch with yun, wen and lynn.

Case Study 1:

Characters involved : You ( Mary )
: a normal fren of urs (Bella)
: your bf (Sam)

Sam knows you and Bella at the same time. you like him and Bella never responsed to his sms. Sam likes u as well and u two got together. he did not treat u as a sub, he juz tot that he likes u enuff to be with u. But after being together for awhile, Sam realised he likes Bella better and does not wan to hurt u further.... he decided to break up with u. what would u do if u r Bella?

A : think tat Sam is a bastard.
B : wah, he really likes me.
C : play along with Sam and help Mary gets her revenge.
D : refused to get involved coz Sam was once Mary's bf.



names have been changed in order to protect the identity of the story provider...

my love will be true

=== my love will be true ===

these are my words
you never supposed to hear from me at all
that i'm just another one standing by you
praying to the stars
to become someone special to you
i've been waiting for so long
for you to be near
my love has just begun
since you called my name
as if i breathed for the first time
as light as feather soaring up high
bright as guiding light in my eyes
the world has just begun
with your shining smile
as if you created my all
the moon was made out of your dreams
the ocean made out of your tears
i realize all on my own
wondering the reason why
my heart and soul confused
give me a chance
is it too late to be next to you won't ask for
more
for the rest of my life
wanna give you my all every night and day
my love will be true
trying hard to reach
less than zero hope that's hard for me to keep
hanging on to promise without meaning



pls do not assume you noe how the others feel, pls do not assume u noe how i feel................

went to bed at abt 8pm.... woke up at 9 plus pm. vomitted......... measured my temperature, n yes.... i m down with a fever. juz took panadol. will be goin back to bed soon..............
like the feeling of being sick at times............ dunno why.


走到门口
我还你自由
泪在闪烁
心在颤抖
爱情原来
经不起犯错
扛不动
回忆太重
寂寞太浓

i can be friendly and sociable if i wan to. i can laugh with u, tok to you......... blah blah blah. but tat doesn't mean anything ok. i m not flirting.......... this is not call flirting. pls get the idea straight hor.

sometimes i really agree with tis phrase "男人不坏，女人不爱。" haiz, wun elaborate further abt tis...........


=== life aint a bed of roses. ===

things simply juz dun go according the way u want it to be. it juz works tis way whether u like it or not.

did 2 good deeds tis week.......... was waitin for cab the other day....waited abt 2o mins and there's not one in sight... was kinda irritated. den i saw an old man and a pregnant lady came and stood beside me..... at that moment, a cab came..... she looked at me.... and i said it's ok...... i let her board the cab first........ wah lau............

and juz now... i helped an old lady carry her heavy bags..... well, she asked if i could help her... and i said ok.....(of coz muz say ok rite, watelse can i say?? )
i m not tat nice one lo, i c kids fall down beside me, i wun bother to help him/her up one.... instead i will say u deserve it... believe me.... i do tat one lo. i wun feel abit of sympathy when kids cry one lo.......... i tink they r spoil brats..... and they deserve it. i dun like kids............. simply juz dislike them.... they r not as pure n innocent as we thought........ they noe how to pretend, how to lie......... they r cunning............. hahahahahahahahahahaha............. it's juz that they aint mature yet....... tat's y their lies dun work.

can humans like more than one person at the same time???? sad to say, in my opinion.... the answer is yes. 自古以来，男人都是三妻四妾。the china emperor even worse..... 后宫三千。 3 thousand lo..... can make love to different women every nite.....
humans are very complicated species one lo, capable of doing many things. can kill own kind, can lie to own kind, can cheat own kind..... go to war and stuff..... so wat is it abt liking 2 persons at the same time????
but most of the times, we are juz merely suppressing tat feeling..... kept it hidden somewhere deep down in our heart. not wishing to hurt the ppl we care or those tat care for us. of coz, there r some tat dun, call them selfish or whatsoever...... yes, they may be selfish..... but isn't humans all selfish???? i dunno..... i never think tat we humans are saint...... i tink we r born tis way, it's the environment tat nutures us into a better person....... well, tats what i tink la.....
u can say my thinking are all wrong.... or i shouldn't be tinkin tis way............. but after coming such a long way ( believe me, i had gone thru more den u can ever imagine). i have learn to look at things fr many different ways......... i may be lost at times...... but i guess i do noe wat i want in life, it's juz tat i refused to admit it.... coz it's ugly.

guess we all have to pretend in order to survive. pretend to be not offended when our boss or teachers scold us in front of others. pretend to like somebody coz u needed tat person's help. pretend to like ur colleagues/classmates coz u need to work with them. pretend to like our bf's family coz we have no choice.
pretend to be happy when we r sad, pretend to not care when our heart's actually bleeding inside. pretend to not like somebody coz u r already someone else's gf/bf. pretend to not like somebody coz he/she is already someone else's bf/gf.
tat's life i guess.............. let's be more optimistic ba.

i have no idea what i want in life, i have no fucking idea what i wan to achieve in life............. and i know i simply hate myself for hurtin the ppl that care for me and those who really loves me............ i m sorry........ i really dunno what else i can say........ probably i can try to love myself more in order to repay ur care n concern. i m so sorry, i really am.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you