i miss you

disappointed.



with life.


with love.


with mankind.


with the world.


with myself.






with myself. no one else.

there's a time for laughter,
there's a time for tears.
there's a time for joy,
there's a time for grief.







well, i am still alive.

原来学习坚强一点儿也不容易。
原来学习不哭一点儿也不简单。
原来学习不依赖似乎已难倒我了。



我的勇气，我的坚持。
我需要它们的陪伴。


我的泪水，我的软弱。
我会把它们隐藏起来。

i did the extreme to ease the pain.

it may be stupid, but i need to heal.

i need to feel that i am still alive.

i need to stay up, so that i would not drown.

i need to find myself, before i lose my grip.

# Totally Random

some will express their love for that special someone with little gifts and surprises.

some will express their love for that special someone with kisses and hugs.

some will express their love for that special someone by telling them "i love you" and still mean it even though it was said everyday.

some will express their love for that special someone by making sure they have proper meals so that they can stay healthy.

some will express their love for that special someone by bringing him/her home to see his/her parents.

some will express their love for that special someone by bringing him/her to meet his/her close friends.

i am feelin insecure. again.

i love you, Dearie. i really do.

(updated at 7.55pm)

it's been awhile since i have the chance to take an afternoon nap.


i shall attempt to have one nw... will update my entry later!


Ciao!!

i kinda like this song.





it's hard to get company when everyone is either too busy or attached.


maybe i will try hangin out wif myself tml.

1000 times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far

Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But, love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through 7 bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you

Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We - we could have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give

You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change

I, oh I, I wish this could last forever
I, oh I, As if this could last forever
Love remains the same
Love remains the same

# Horoscope for the Day

Be more expressive about your emotions than you typically are, today. Be vulnerable.
Ugly emotions are burbling up inside you today, and it doesn't matter why -- you're feeling out of sorts, and you need to deal with these feelings by sharing them. Be more expressive about your emotions than you typically are. For example, if you are upset with someone, don't suppress it. Don't underestimate other people by assuming they will react negatively. They have a lot more empathy than you think, and they are ready to listen. Be vulnerable and tell them how you feel.



i dun believe in this huge pile of shit!

Everyday is a brand new day to forget the past.

Everyday is a brand new day to start anew.

# Updates

i havent been blogging tat often these days. as usual, i m busy wif school and tuitions... i dun even have time to have a decent manicure. my nails looked like shit now!!!


finally i got to sleep over at Dearie's yesterday. again, i invaded his house successfully wif my own cup and my own slippers! teehees =)


we heard this song "The One You Love" over the radio ytd... and Dearie asked if i know the song.

Dearie: " Do you noe this song? "

Me: " Of coz i do "

Dearie: " Why leh? "

Me: " Coz i kept listening to it over and over again "

Dearie: " Why? "

Me: " Coz i wonder who is the girl in your heart, the one you really love... "

Dearie : " Bu shi ni ma... (不是你吗) "

*smiles*


i tink our r/ship is getting better after the time out n i definately hope tat this feeling isn't one sided.


today is our 7th month anniversary!!!!



i love you Dearie! muacks!

=)

# 我毕业了！

since Dearie couldn't make it to my graduation, i made him buy this bear for me as my graduation pressie!

cute hor???? heehees, i muz remember to collect $25/- from Dearie.

after the ceremony, it's time to camwhore wif my family. tat's me with my dearest Mummy!

my family portrait, without my sis. look at my mum, she's trying to pose with the peace sign.

thanks for believing in me and thanks for giving me all the support. i made it!

Mummy, Daddy... this is for you.

me with SM... yeah!!! we are officially Miss Low and and Miss Lim now!

and to my Dearest bestie,

thanks for coming to my graduation! let's jiayou together!!!

# First Day after a loonnng wkend

after resting for 4 days... it's time to head back to school. i woke up kinda early, and so......

i took some pics of myself before leaving home for school. Dearie thinks this top is ugly. i spent nearly $50/- for it lo, from G2000. ugly meh?

one of my P2s gave these cute thingy to hang on my handphone.

think he prob got it when he went Korea for holis.

he was quite a sweet boy, doesn't give me much trouble in school. and he def made my day after one of my P1 boys shouted repeatly "Si San Ba" at me when i tried to stop him from fighting wif his classmate.

Baby Desiree is finally here!!!! isn't she adorable??????

Dearie, when are we going to have one of our own??? heehees.

love me

# A brand new start



we are back together.




for myself... for you... and for us.



forget abt the past, live for the future.




Dearie, i love you. and thanks for loving me.

# Better In time



It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time




the tears wouldn't come.
here i am,



away fr you.

# Long weekend

i juz finished watching Don't mess with Zohan online. it wasn't as entertaining as i thought it would be. probably i have high expectations for Adam Sandler's movie, was kinda disappointed


anyway, the long weekend is here. Sunday is Youth Day, which means i get to have a day off on Monday! and it's an extra long weekend for me ---- i've got a 2 days mc.


probably the long weekend will do me some good... give me ample time to think about us.


i was up all nite... looking through my previous entries. recalling the times we had before we got together, recalling the times we had after we got together.



whether it is for better, or for worse.... i am sure things will never be the same again.

# Life still goes on


first of all, i must admit that i am not someone who has a high EQ. i allowed my emotions to control my mind and most of the time... i can't think straight. i need time to cool myself down before i can see things more clearly. sometimes it could be a short 5 mins, sometimes it could be an hour, sometimes it could be a day or even longer.


things havent been going so well for me in school, period. i don't wish to elaborate further and i don't wish to talk about it, yet. not even on this space of mine. it's nothing embarrassing, it's nothing that depressing. i juz dun feel like talking about it, tat's all. when i am ready, when i can sort my thoughts properly... i will let it out.



things havent been going well for us either. we have been constantly arguing and quarreling over the same issue. i know we have a problem and i feel that we should try to solve it. if breaking up is the only way, well.... at least it is a solution.


we are having a time out. he feels that i should take some time to think about us, think about all far i m willing to go to make things work, think about what can i do to make things work, think about whether he is worth it for me to try, think about whether i have been really trying.

for ppl who noe me well enough, u will noe that i see time out as breaking up. i see distance as something that will push 2 person a p a r t ...








but this time, we will have the time out.


well, i m fine. i m nt even crying as i m typing this entry. even if the worst were to happen, at least i still get to see him one last time before we have our time out session (provided he dun change his mind).





and life will still goes on........

without you, it's back to black and white.

i heard this story from another teacher. She used to expect neat handwriting from all her students. If they were to hand in their work with untidy handwriting, she would ask them to rewrite and hand in to her again.

One day, she asked this boy to redo his work because of his bad handwriting. the next day, he handed in the work with the same handwriting again. she reprimanded him and demanded to know why he did not put in the effort to do his work properly.

the boy replied, "i don't know my best wasn't good enough for you."




She can learn to lower her expectations... or the boy can keep practising, maybe one day... he will achieve the kind of standard his teacher expects.







i am not sure if i have given my best... but i m willing to keep trying. maybe one day, i will be able to achieve the kind of standard you want.

maybe one day, we will be able to live happily ever after.

a picture speaks a thousand words