# 心痛的感觉

心痛的感觉

是什么留住了我的眼泪

是天上的星星还是霓虹灯

又一次要和爱情说再见

扬起头不流泪

是什么忍住了我的伤悲

是街上的行人还是夜色太美

我独自穿过了匆匆人群

一个人不流泪

我告诉自己爱情已远去

何必又何必

何必再想你

啊这一份冷漠它掩盖了

我心痛的感觉

它浸蚀了我

是什么留住了我的眼泪

是天上的星星还是霓虹灯

又一次要和爱情说再见

扬起头不流泪

是什么忍住了我的伤悲

是街上的行人还是夜色太美

我独自穿过了匆匆人群

一个人不伤悲

我告诉自己爱情已远去

何必又何必

何必再想你

啊这一份冷漠它掩盖了我

心痛的感觉

它浸蚀了我

i love you.

# The Learning Journey


i went to Ngee Ann Polytechnic after my O's. the first year went fine, i even had a couple of As. but my grades went down the hill during the 2nd yr, i failed quite a few modules and was made to repeat. again, i didn't put in the effort and was dismissed by the sch. my dad went to school and made an appeal for me. i was allowed to continue my studies.


in the end, i got dismissed for the 2nd time...and left the school eventually.



i went on to a private school, hoping to do my A's there. but i wasted my parents' money again, spending that one year drowning myself in nightspots. (my worst record was 4 nights in a row, clubbing at Mdm Wong)

needless to say... i failed my A's... the only A i achieved was Mother Tongue (prob tat explains why i m a chinese teacher now)

i know my parents were disappointed, and i know i cant stop my studies with only an O's cert. in the end, i chose the "Special Training Programme", a long 4 years course which will only award me a dip cert.

4 years had finally passed, i had completed the course. along the way, i nearly failed during the 2nd year. but i know, no matter how hard the journey is... i have to make it this time... this is the last chance to prove something to my parents. this is my last chance to make them proud.


26th May 2008, i m offically posted to KMPS. i m offically a language teacher there.


i wasted 4, nearly 5 years of my life. achieved NOTHING.



so, this small achievement actually means ALOT to me. i would want to share this happiness with all my close ones. i would love to have my parents, my bestie, my beloved girlies from NIE (but sadly, they will being having their TA den) and you present at my graduation.




you may not understand the importance of this graduation... but it really means a world to me. it really does.

# Meet The Parents

do you know the reason why i hope that you would meet my parents?


other than wanting them to know who i have been spending my Saturday nights with, i also want them to feel my happiness as well. i want them to know that their daughter is with a wonderful man and he is capable of taking good care of her.

i want them to meet this great guy, the guy who brought colours into her life. i want them to meet the guy who makes their daughter glow with happiness , everytime she tinks of him.


i am sure they will be happy knowing that i m happy.



no pressure, i will wait for you to be ready.



when the day finally comes, i will proudly introduce you... as my boyfriend, to my parents.

# From Mother To Child

亲爱的宝贝，

如果你还活着，
一定要记着我爱你。



母爱的伟大是无限的。




i love you Mummy!

# happy girl





the good news is... i have finally upgraded from "Jeanie" to Dear in Dearie's hp.





=)

24 hrs without any sleep.





i m tired. i really am.

Horoscope for the day:

Don't worry if you start off this day feeling a bit depressed -- it won't last very long. To help speed up your good cheer, try to get outside as soon as you can for a brief stroll. The fresh air will help you think more clearly and see things in the proper perspective. Being in a blue funk is nothing to worry about anyway -- you have to work through your feelings, and sometimes it's not a fun experience. The good news is that you will come to answers today that will make you feel very good.





i didn't start off the day feeling depressed, in fact... i stayed up the whole night feeling it, with all the qns haunting me, torturing my mind... i really had a hard time falling asleep.

i stayed up to catch the match btw Man U n Chelsea, followed by Miami Ink at 5am. i m still watching my fav channel now.


2 tuition sessions to go... b4 i can bury myself under my blanket.



You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold

And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just, stay strong'
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you

There's nothing you can say (Nothin' you can say)
Nothing you can do (Nothin' you can do)
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on'
Cause you know we'll make it through
make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end

With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend,
Yeah yeah

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just, stay strong'
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you

There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on'
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny

Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..

# i love no one else but you




i thought i m at the top of the world, only to realise i can fall any moment.

without any warning.





i hate to feel this way.

# Back to School

yea, meeting the girls really reminded me of our STP days. such fond memories... it only seems like ytd when we were having lunch at the canteen with only one muslim stall, but the food was good. fish, chicken and mutton curry... the sardine puffs tat were only 3 for $1/-.

anyway, it was really nice to meet up wif the girls again. We had lunch at Sushi Tei, did some shopping at Taka and Paragon. and of coz, major catching up.

let's arrange one more (at least one) outing before the TA starts...


i miss you girls so much!!!

yes, my love is you.


i always have this fear of losing you someday. but somehow, the fear seems to be getting stronger.



Dearie, i m really trying to work things out.



i dun ever want to lose you again. i wan to be with you... for a long long time.



i wan to be ur baby.

i miss you... i miss you so much!!!









i wan to kiss you. i wan to hug u to sleep. i wan to sleep on ur bed. i wan to hug my bolster (i mean the one in ur room). i wan to sleep beside you. i wan my goodnite kiss.



i wan to see you la!!!


coz i miss you badly!!!




i hate this major shutdown!! coz it's depriving you from lots of rest and it's taking away the time i get to spend with you.

i hate it! i hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every single day,
Every single moment,
Every breathe that i take,

i am thinking of you, i am missing you.




if i can endure that 5 days u were in HK, i believe i can endure not seeing u for 2 wkends.




there's no better word to say this...




I MISS YOU!

Dearie,

i miss you so much. it makes me feel incomplete.


i can't wait for the new week to come.



i need you badly. =(

# Mitsubishi Colt



Dearie is now a proud owner of this beautiful Misubishi Colt Version R! the pictures above arent the photos of his car, it will only be here in 3 mths time.

Dearie chose Red ( he says i like the colour...... hmmm, i wonder if he really mean it)... anyway, ya... i love Red cars. actually my first choice has always been white, but Dearie would have to pay an extra $1000/- to get a white one. so... i chose RED in the end.

i cant wait for the car to be here in August!

i wun be able to meet Dearie for this long wkend!




*sulks*

=(

# Mother's Day Dinner at Bali Thai

Honey Chicken With Garlic, Deep-Fried Fish with Chilli

Tom Yam Soup wif Seafood, Kangkong will chilli. yummy!!!

my mummy, my daddy and me!!! (as usual, my sis didn't join us for dinner)

Happy Mother's Day!!! i love you Mummy!!!!!!!!!!

To my Dearie,

even though we only parted for less than an hour, i m already startin to miss everything about you. how i wish i can sleep in ur arms tonite...

i want to spend my lifetime loving you!

Love,

ur dark-eye rings Dear Dear.

=p

there r times where i m really busy with my work as well.
there r times where i have to stay up through the night to get my work done.
there r times where i dun even have the time to sleep and will have to start getting ready for another day of teaching.



*sigh*

# Last 2 days of Practiccum

finally my 10 weeks of practiccum is coming to an end. i am going to miss the kids. *sobs*
but the good news is... i m posted back to the same school! i will be their Lin Lao Shi in 2 mths time again!! woohoo!!! now, its time to ditch the formal wear and back to my "shorts days" !!!

since i m in a good mood, it's time to cam-whore!

me acting cute. ke ai ma?

da innocent look... =p

and finally, the normal self!!!

2yrs lo!!!!



Happy 2 yrs Anniversary !!!!!!

# u make me happy


i had a wonderful wkend wif Dearie! guess wat??? he brought me along to his father's birthday dinner. well, he didn't really invite me to join them. but since i am at his place, Dearie just decided to let me tag along! i was so damn nervous lo!! its my first time eating at the same table wif his family, first time sharing a conversation wif his parents and sisters.

but they were really warm and nice. and just makes me wonder when would i ever get to sit down and have a proper meal with my family ( with my sis included)

and when will it be Dearie's turn to have a meal wif MY parents?? he says probably after a year... hmmmmm. ok lo, i will look forward to that day.


i managed to force Dearie to take some photos with me. First try, Dearie isn't smiling. My eyes looked sleepy.

2nd try, Dearie still isn't really smiling. but at least he agreed to take 2 fotos with me!!

lastly, tats me before i left home to travel to Dearie's place. my eyes still looked tired, with the eyebags!!

can anyone recommend me an effective eye cream?

after a few sip of stolen beer from my dad (chilled one hor), and looking through the old photos i took during my clubbing days (mostly wif lynn).

i tink i have really grown out of clubbing.


Dearie says "tat's because all ur frens have quit..."


well, true la. but if i really want to go clubbing, i dun tink i will have probs finding company lo.


it's going to our 2 yrs anniversary soon. i shall only revive the date when the day comes. i met Dearie at Double O nearly 2 yrs back, it was the last day of my killer paper. as usual, we (lyn and i) met up early for dinner, had some early drinks and headed to my ex-fav hangout---- Double O. it was a fun nite, minus the fact that i got really wasted as well. i ended up crying outside Double O, insisting that my sister come to pick me up. i met Dearie and some of his other frens that night.

tat was the start of this magical journey. after that was nights after nights of clubbing at Club Momo every friday. From Double O, i changed my fav hangout to Club Momo. Dearie would be there almost every friday. he would drink and cracked crude jokes at me, he can be really mean at times.

things got better after i confessed my feelings to him... but for some reasons (some girl he used to like appear from nowhere) and ruined everything. tat's when i chose to drift away and hoped the best for him.

it doesn't matter how tough the journey was. we are finally together!!! he is my beloved Dearie and i m also his official girlfriend now.

i worked so hard to be with his man and i really came so far.






well, to end the story. Dearie has not quit from his clubbing days. he has now changed his friday hangout place from Club Momo to St' James.

why is it so hard?

Horoscope for the Day:

You have been doing too many things on the go lately, and this reckless pace has to stop. Sure, you've been promising yourself for days that you were going to cut back and get some downtime, but when are you going to come through on that promise? Make that day today. Cancel or postpone whatever you can and give yourself a few hours of nothing to do. Being productive or busy is not the same thing as being happy. You need to reconnect with yourself and just chill out.



this is so true. hais, even my Labour Day was spent running around, giving 3 sessions of tuition. now, even my Sundays will not be free from tuition anymore.

i m not hardup for cash, but i really want to increase the amt in my savings. since i cant be emotionally independent, at least i can be independent financially. i dun wan to be a burden, or rather, i dun wan him to feel that i m a burden.



i wan to walk through my journey of life together with him.
and i wan him to walk through his journey of life together with me.

i wan to share every bits and pieces of my life with him.
and i wan him to share every bits and pieces of his life with me.

i wan to share my ups and downs with him.
and i wan him to share his ups and downs with me.




baby, i wan to see you so badly! but i guess u need the space ba, i wouldnt want you to drift away because of suffocation.

just to let you know...

i miss u so. i miss you much.



i wan to be that smelly, dirty, full of germs, torn and old Pooh Bear.